I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with that—it sounds incredibly tough and exhausting. Living with a partner who struggles with alcoholism can bring a lot of emotional chaos, stress, and uncertainty into daily life.

Alcoholics (people with alcohol use disorder) often experience a wide range of physical, emotional, social, and other struggles that can escalate over time. These can vary by individual, but based on established medical and recovery resources, here’s a categorized overview of common pains and drama they go through. This isn’t exhaustive or a substitute for professional advice—seeking help from organizations like SAMHSA or AA is recommended.

Emotional and Psychological StrugglesAnxiety and guilt in early stages: Using alcohol to cope with stress or sadness, but feeling increasingly anxious without it, along with quiet guilt about escalating habits. (hazeldenbettyford.org)

Shame and defensiveness: Hiding drinking, lying about it, and becoming irritable or defensive when confronted, which builds internal conflict and self-loathing. (hazeldenbettyford.org)

Depression and despair in later stages: Deep loneliness, hopelessness, and mental health issues like insomnia or chronic stress, often feeling trapped despite wanting to change. (hazeldenbettyford.org )

Mood swings and irritability: Emotional instability that makes everyday interactions volatile, exacerbating feelings of isolation.

Failed attempts to quit: Repeatedly trying and failing to cut back, leading to frustration, low self-esteem, and a cycle of relapse.

Social and Relational DramaDamaged relationships: Drinking despite harm to family, friends, or work ties, causing arguments, trust issues, and eventual isolation or divorce (my.clevelandclinic.org)

Neglected responsibilities: Missing work, family obligations, or self-care, leading to job loss, financial strain, or legal troubles like DUIs.

Conflicts and defensiveness: Frequent mood changes spark drama with loved ones, who may express concern, leading to denial, blame-shifting, or explosive arguments. hazeldenbettyford.org

Isolation and loneliness: As relationships suffer, alcoholics may withdraw, drinking alone and feeling profound disconnection from others.

Family-wide fallout: Contributing to household tension, where partners or kids experience stress, but from the alcoholic’s view, this manifests as guilt over the pain caused to others. (americanaddictioncenters.org)

Other ChallengesFinancial strain: Spending excessively on alcohol, coupled with lost income from work issues, creating debt and instability.

Legal and safety risks: Engaging in hazardous activities while intoxicated, like driving, which can lead to arrests, accidents, or injuries.

Cycle of dependence: Alcohol taking over thoughts and routines, making it hard to enjoy non-drinking activities and perpetuating a sense of being “stuck.” (hazeldenbettyford.org)

These struggles often progress through stages, from casual use to full dependence, but recovery is possible with treatments like counseling, medication, or support groups. (niaaa.nih.gov)

If this relates to you or someone you know, resources like the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) offer help. niaaa.nih.gov

Alcoholism destroyed my husband’s appearance. I miss his beautiful smile because he has lost all his teeth. Partly because of the Gulf War 1 and oil plume touchdowns. The other side, is smoking and drinking beer. I miss his humor, because anxiety has taken over, along with mood shifts. Hearing his true voice and not an intoxicated voice. His gut is huge due to stage 3 alcohol induced fatty liver. His blood work is very close to cirrhosis. He is dark skin so seeing the yellow from a sick liver isn’t so easy. It’s best to look while he is in the sun.

He thinks he lives life but he doesn’t. His days are consumed with alcohol and the internet. Planning trips are hard. You want to go, but you need to think about how much would truly be fun because of alcohol. When we went to Greece it started out fun, but the end wasn’t so good. To drunk to protect his wallet and was pickpocketed in Athens.. that stress involved more alcohol and ranting..trust your Instincts